# 1 We are going to be frustrated and angry and disappointed and sad ALOT but no matter what is said know that we are truly sorry and that we love you very much. You lash out and push away the people you care about the most; this is definitely true unfortunately. Please forgive our hurtful words as they are simply born out of all the heightened and over-whelming emotions we are going through and know that we need you now more than ever before.
# 2 We expend a great deal of effort toward trying to be independent, so please don’t rush in and do everything for us! We have to re-train ourselves to do most things and yes we may be slow and look clumsy doing things but we’ll get there eventually; it will take alot of time and practice and perseverance but all we need is a chance to learn! Help us to help ourselves by resourcing products/services/websites etc that will enable us to make ourselves more independent and self-sufficient on our new path.
# 3 Please read up on our disability and try and learn some of our new limitations and abilities. They try to teach you how to handle your body in every way before leaving rehab, but with such huge changing things like this, it’s just impossible. This is all so new to everyone and there is quit alot to take in all at once but together, with a greater understanding, you will be able to overcome the challenges.
# 4 Do not push our chair please. We know that you are doing this out of kindness but everyday people challenge our movement by pushing our chairs without asking; often in the wrong direction, and shove us in the back or knock us off balance as a way of “helping” us propel. Our chair is now an extension of our bodies; you must recognise this and respect our right of movement and autonomy.
# 5 The families dynamic changes after such an enormous event occurs in all of your lives. Try to maintain where possible some level of normality and refrain from acting different around each other because you are still the same family with still the same unique bonds!