In the beginning, certain aspects of recovery seem excruciatingly slow, while others are flung our way at warp speed. Learning how to function better physically whilst trying to re-understand your place in the world is an emotional rollercoaster. Overwhelming feelings of fear start to show up soon after stabilization. Fear of the unknown that lies ahead can spur you into action or paralyze you (pardon the pun). Despite families and friends outpouring of love and support, the imminent feeling of dread that manifests itself can make you a prisoner to your mind.
National Rehabilitation Hospital 2014- three months after spinal cord injury
It’s only when you leave the hospital and try to recommence your “normal life’ that the enormity of the situation becomes apparent. It is surrounded with even more feelings of fear and anxiety. Myriad initiatives fail to lift people with disabilities out of isolation and segregation. This leaves you largely on your own to navigate feelings like belonging, self-respect, happiness and anything else needed to feel well-rounded and fulfilled as a human being. It took along time for me to accept my new life and sometimes I see my reflection in a shop window and still think “oh that’s me!’.
My first hospital day trip,shopping with my Sista 2014!
Things do get easier but you need to keep the right outlook. This won’t happen overnight but you will reach some equilibrium of normality somewhere between the way your body was before and how it is now and only then will you accept yourself for the wonderful person you truly are. A lot of people view acceptance as a form of weakness. They think that, if they accept what’s happened to them, they’ll be admitting defeat. But it’s the opposite. It’s only by acknowledging reality you can challenge the fear inside and then you can create a plan to move forward. Acceptance, as it turns out, is the first step to overcoming the fear that is holding you hostage to your mind. The human soul is strong unlike the blood and bones we are constructed from. Know that you can face anything life throws at you, that deep inside you have the courage and determination. We all do.
“The Only Thing We Have to Fear Is Fear Itself”; Franklin D. Roosevelt, Inaugural Address, March 4, 1933
My nephew and I, Christmas 2014, one year 2months into my new life.
Teri says
12th June 2017 at 7:10 pmAgree! When I accepted my big tank of a powerchair, it became an enormous freedom for me and expanded all the things I could do. That’s why I reject the term “confined to a wheelchair”, because it was the wheelchair that opened up my world.
Great article…thought provoking.
geri says
12th June 2017 at 11:48 pmThanks Teri. Exactly, our chairs are items of empowerment and freedom not something to be ashamed off.
Marian says
12th June 2017 at 8:51 pmGeraldine. I hope it’s ok to respond again to you.
I read with deep respect your journey from good physical health and ability to where you suddenly found yourself and in a new and no doubt scared place, the growing of your inner awareness and knowing, The meeting and moving through the many challenges along the way has brought you to a depth of heart mind and soul that could only be achieved by walking the heros journey. I bow to your great courage, strength and determination.
Marian
geri says
12th June 2017 at 11:43 pmThanks Marian, all comments welcome, thanks for reading. It has been a journey of heart,mind and soul and all support greatly appreciated.